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Amanda Joy

At Amanda's Grave (PIX)

mood: sad
 

Here's me and the kids at her grave.
(and there's that stupid farking dog! meh)



So, the cemetary people cemented her marker in, but it was plastic and it faded and the name peeled off.
So I think the funeral home made a metal plate for her grave. 
I'd like to take out the cement plastic one, and cement in the metal one!
It looks sorta weird now.
oh well.



Really, I'd like to get a marble grave stone, engraved yanno??
But it's over $300 and that's alot of $$ that we have not been able to afford..... : -(

It'd be nice to have a NICE marker, instead of this cheap one.
Maybe for her 10th birthday?!?!!
That is so horrible, makes me feel like I"m not "taking care" of her.....



Alex's first time at Amanda's grave.
He wasn't too sure what to think of it.
And he prompty broke her cross, that my dad made.

So Charlie fixed it for me!!




This picture really bothers me.
Charlie shouldn't be posing by his sister's grave. 
He should be running and playing with her, tormenting her, teaching her to play baseball, etc.
But instead he's posing by her grave.
how utterly sad.
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Posted on Jun. 16th, 2008 at 03:04 pm | | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Comments


[info]allconsoffun

it's ironic that you said that the last pix bothers you and while...b/c i had to almost LOL at the thought that Alex was being the true lil brother and breaking Amanda's stuff...and Charlie being the great big brother and fixing it right up.
::hugz::
Posted on Jun. 16th, 2008 08:18 pm (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]hopefullytrying

I had not thought of it that way...cute.
Posted on Jun. 16th, 2008 11:54 pm (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

[info]allconsoffun

hey i got no problems being an optimist in someone else's life...it's my own life i suck at. LOL
my pleasure to help.
xo
Posted on Jun. 16th, 2008 11:56 pm (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

[info]mandella0021

aww :tears: it's a hard week in loss-land, I think. seems like a bunch of us are having rough days.

first of all, the first pic made me giggle a little b/c i can't believe the freaking dog even managed to get in the picture! WTF!

next, adorable lil AL, what a nice pic, and i agree with connie, it's fitting for the lil bro to break and big bro to fix, but yes I can see how that pic of charlie is so heartbreaking. the other two, they don't so much know what they lost since they weren't even created, but charlie has walked the path with you guys. *sniffy*

Posted on Jun. 16th, 2008 08:35 pm (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]hopefullytrying

I know, that stupid dog!! grrr.

yah, I guess it has been a hard time all around these days...hugs back!!

Posted on Jun. 16th, 2008 11:54 pm (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

[info]velveeta4

eBay has some markers <$300. We have been looking for one to put in my stepdad's memorial garden. Just a link to one store on there....

http://cgi.ebay.com/Memorial-Marker-Child-Gravestone-Etched-Granite-12x8x4_W0QQitemZ170150406675QQihZ007QQcategoryZ116391QQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1742.m153.l1262

In your previous post RE: stopping by Amanda Joy's gravesite, I was thinking that's the Lord showing you life moves on. Yanno, doggie drama, breakage drama, etc. And that your love for Amanda Joy will never fade. I think it's sweet.

Thanks for sharing. (((hugs)))
Posted on Jun. 16th, 2008 09:30 pm (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]darlingmiette

All I can muster up is that the cross your father crafted strikes me as deeply beautiful and symbolic of the love of family you've surrounded Amanda Joy with. I understand your pain, though, about feeling unable to care for her well. We'll never feel complete in that sense (and many others) but you are doing a remarkable, moving job in honoring her life and her memory, in my opinion.

I don't have much, but if you ever decide to purchase a marker, I would be honored to contribute something to help with the cost.

Hugs and peace to you today.
Posted on Jun. 16th, 2008 09:54 pm (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]hopefullytrying

Thank you.
My dad thought it looked bare, so he went out to the shop and made the cross and painted it, and put it on her grave, and then when I went there, it was just there....he told me about it later when I asked where it came from.
I think it was his way of doing *something* for his granddaughter.....some small way for him to express HIS own grief.
Makes me cry to think of him crafting it, all alone in his shop, and maybe shedding a tear or 2 for her.......


thanks for the offer for the marker, help....I appreciate the gesture!! HUGS!!!
Posted on Jun. 16th, 2008 11:56 pm (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

[info]dragongoddess

I was just going to suggest that myself... I must think about it. If all of us chipped in, it would be from many people who loved her who never met her as well as the ones who did.
Posted on Jun. 17th, 2008 03:16 am (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

[info]holllwee

((hugs))

I am so sorry hun :(
Posted on Jun. 16th, 2008 10:44 pm (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]hopefullytrying

thanks!
Posted on Jun. 16th, 2008 11:57 pm (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply

[info]amallicoat

(((HUGS)))

Thinking of you this week. I know that you have wanted to go to her grave site for a while, so I am glad that you were able to do that.

It is just sad and not fair to me that while I have a friend who at the age of 34 just experienced the loss of her grandfather and that is the first time she has had anyone in her family die, you and so many others have had to experience the loss of a child. My heart breaks for Charlie as he still misses Amanda, yet the joy I get as I see pics and hear you stories of him loving on and taking care of Hope and Alex.
Posted on Jun. 17th, 2008 02:07 pm (UTC) | | Thread | Reply

[info]amallicoat

Oh, and I would LOVE to be able to help with the fund for Amanda Joy's marker. It would be a blessing for me and my family to help you guys that way.
Posted on Jun. 17th, 2008 02:11 pm (UTC) | | Parent | Thread | Reply